July 1, 2013

• Eros or Agape Love (Edit)

  My previous post, i wrote about the doubts i had, i still have them and after much thought, I’ve decided to strike him off without owing him any explanation and drop him like a hot potato. In the first place, i wasn’t even looking for a relationship, i just wanted a friend and i was perhaps getting too flirty friendly and things progressed way too quickly with him saying the L-Word time and time again, which got me thinking, if he really meant it….?

  Love…Which love? The Eros kind of love that comes from the word Erotic or the Agape Love which is the kind of love which is the self sacrificial kind?! o_O

  Gotta admit, he was smooth going biblical with me, and there was all that signs of a player. He rung on Sunday night saying he was at the cas and that he loves me and misses me, i was feeling sleepy, so i wished him luck and told him to have fun at the cas and that i’m gonna shower and sleep. It was already late. Monday morning, i received a missed call and a text from him and replied with a text saying that i love him too but not in the way he thinks but of with an earnest heart of honoring and respecting him. I missed his call yet again, got caught up with work and stuffs, i also had an Interview to prepare for yesterday for a PA position and send him a text saying, i’d call him later and left it as that…

  After the interview, i caught up with an old friend, felt sad hearing him share about how he misses his ex-gf and how he’s settling for this girl who he’s with now because he doesn’t want to be alone and that he’s 33 and can’t stop thinking about the ex who’s moved on, i was just listening and thinking bout how, I’d not want a guy to settle for me. Matters of the heart are such a fragile delicate thing, it just messes up with your head. I did gave him my two cents worth tho that he wasn’t being fair to the girl who he’s with. He claimed, he loves her but just not in that kind… :/ So there you go, that’s the Eros kind of love… I dunno bout you guys but hearing stories like this has made me wary of relationships more than anything.

  Anyhow, I went on fb to check for updates, mostly (stalking to see what my ‘A’ is up to) and found A’ online, so i dropped him a msg saying, “i’m free now if he wanted to talk” but no response and saw him going on and off on fb. This happened for quite a while, him being online, offline and online,and then with a status update saying, that the time is passing slowly.. like [He could put up a frigging status update but not reply to my msgs?!] (JERK) Feeling mischief, i send him a text asking him to come on Skype, saying, that’ i just bought this white lace bra and wanted to show, and know what he thinks’.. That surely got his attention right away! He replied almost immediately saying ‘coming on now’….and, when he got on to Skype, I deleted him and felt Soooooo Gooooood and Victorious! Hahaha! Cheap thrill but he’s still around.

  Edit: I could not bear to completely strike him off, so when he called, I answered and we talked for a while and he asked me to get on Skype and was a bit surprised to find out we weren’t mates anymore, I changed the subject quickly without making an issue out of it. lol (Quick thinking saves the day) 

  Well, with the two kinds of love, regardless how horny i may be. I’d rather have the Agape kind of love. A love that truly satisfies. 

  So, The story continues….  With ‘A’  I don’t wanna put my hopes up but… He seems like a really great guy. A Man’s man and i’d like him as my guy but i dunno.. Maybe its better us being mates.. Hahaha I know, i can be frustrating and fickle at times….

   I just don’t wanna have a broken heart and take years nursing it back. It’s actually better to have a broken arm or leg than a broken heart! lol

   

  • 9:41 pm
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