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It has been a while, i would have liked to write often but just doesn't have the same touch to it as it was, funny thing, how relationships are akin to that too. People change and feelings fade. One moment, i was all over, a particular someone and the next, i have almost become numb to those emotions or attraction that was developed. Gone are the days of good old fashioned romance. When it was about when boy meets girls, and falls for her and pursues her. Words of affection now sounds painlessly cheap without any truth or meaning and there's also all these cheap thrilling mind games now, if he likes her or not! I've almost forgotten what "real" intimacy feels like? It's now, casually regarded in disregard for the sake of self pleasure. I'm exhausted of all this selfish, heart wrenching, time wasting process.

My best friend is leaving tomorrow, after a whirlwind of adventures, back to Perth again. I hate airports now, i swear that place has only left me with much sadness than happiness.

If i could just be prudent with the way i spend my money for the next 6 months, i should be able to save up enough for visa and accommodation and other stuffs. Apparently, only in NZ, would i be able to attain a visa to work and live in there, if i wanted to, seems like a good place to live in, everyone would speak in English and the weather would be lovely and career wise, the money earned would be way better in Sing and to be honest, i feel like i'm stuck in a rut here, i don't like it here at all and i really miss having a place of my own with or without housemates to share with. I miss living on my own. Needing my own space.

Singapore is awesome for all these touristy stuffs and also good delicious mouth watering food but living wise, it sucks! I want a job, i could genuinely be happy doing it for life, not just for the time being and i'm so sick of my life atm, plus my qualifications from Australia are recognized round NZ which make more sense to move, and esp more with that work visa thing, that grants Singaporeans an opportunity to move.

I'm thinking Auckland, or Christchurch. I'm impulsive and whimsical by nature. I went to Perth and lived there for 5 years, don't regret the experiences one bit and i'll not swoop anything in the world for it.

If only money dropped from heaven..... I could pack my bags and leave right away!! :/

I've been feeling a little perplexed and withdrawn, i don't feel like talking about it. John was here not too long ago and got to meet up with him over dinner after work. Soooo good to see him again, and hear his side of his story and driving experiences in Europe and how he got lost getting some brownies for his sister in Amsterdam and his relationship with this new Taiwanese girl.. He's seeing an Asian girl, which still feels a little weird from all his international dating experiences. Hahaha

No one has seen me shed a tear and I'm not one to cry around people, but.. John's seen me weep, and tears just flowed. I miss all these heart to heart conversations.

Why are we haunted with a sense of loss?
We do not wish the pain back, or the heat
And yet, and yet, these days are incomplete.

I know, i'll be okay. Just a little overwhelmed atm.

I wanna be in this hot air balloon, with Champagne and breakfast or should i just Wait?
Would people judge me doing this alone, and does sound pretty romantic..

Can't wait Till I am up!
Up!
And away!!!
Eep, bucketlist so close to being ticked off!!!

I cleared out some clutters today and was a bit hesitant to throw some out, esp the materials that i came up with for the kids and my lesson plannings. The classes, i had facilitated with all my hard work in it and also I AM SUCH A HOARDER!!!!

I am glad and thankful tho with this new job, decent hours finally, but i feel like i could do so much better.. Sometimes, i feel like it's such a waste that i had spend so much to major in tourism and hospitality and I could easily get a job anywhere in the world if i just apply in the industry.. Some of my mates from uni are in different parts of Australia, climbing up the ladder in the hotel and i'm in Singapore with my regular, 9-6 job...

I know it's awful to compare, but my friend who has a degree in political science and even she's still Waitress-ing in Perth... I don't wanna go back to Perth to be a frigging waitress, but even then, she gets paid so much more in Aussie dollars, at the very least, at least, she's got her PR.

I just need a little drive, I wanna go on a trip down Taiwan, have some nice Taiwanese food for the soul and hang out with Cheryl's brothers or maybe a trip to Vietnam or Cambodia and do the things i'd like to do...

On that note, i'm thinking of taking up pole fitness or air yoga. Not sure how that will pen out...

My bestie is here for a wedding that she'd be the maid of honor of, she's also been travelling around Europe with her brother and was in Israel for a bit and then she flew back to Taiwan and in Singapore now to help with the wedding preparations of our friend who'll be getting hitched in less than a month. We call the couple Kengie- Angie and Ken.. Ken is in his 40's and Angela's like 26...It's beautiful the love they have developed for each other and the fact that she made the move from Seattle to Singapore to be with him but personally i don't even think he's all that and Cheryl feels the same too that she could do better and asked her a lot of hard questions for her to ponder, esp with the age thing, like what if he dies and stuffs like that... 

I luv Cheryl. She's really amazing and so wise and gifted in a lot of things plus She gives EXCELLENT ADVISES!!! Cheryl treated me to an expensive fancy brunch costing hundreds of dollars and i feel inclined to pay half of it at least but she insisted on treating me and also it's an extra ticket that she bought to go with her cousin J but J had already bought ticket for this brunch to accompany her foodie mate and Cheryl wanted me to go with her and because like her, i love food too but i would never spend days of wages to spend it all in a day.. Unless, its for a designer bag.. or clothes where you can see my money being spend on. Maybe a $100 pus is the most, i'd spend or have treated anyone with.. and esp now that, i'm saving up for things to buy... and I've already been spending a lot on food as it is already... ( I really like to start cooking) but i'm too damn lazy to cook when it's easy to take away food and Maccas is like what 5 mins walk away from home and helps that it's 24hrs...

Anyhow, I wanted to make the most of her money worth and thought if i finished up 2 bottles of Dom Perignon, costing of $100 Aud dollar plus each, so... which means, if I finished up 2 btls... It'll be soooo worth it but as the alcohol level increased in my blood , my dignity decreased.... Turns out,  i'm not quite the drinker, i used to be in Australia! .... I  couldn't breathe and passed out in the rest room and woke up in the hospital hours later and Cheryl was there waiting for me to get up. Awww she's really so gracious and sweet and so kind. I'll take her out to a nice fancy place for a nice meal anytime:)  I'm still ashamed and disappointed that i passed out and till now i get teased by her and how she wiped my face and all... Awwwww. HaHAH

I don't have much friends in Sing to go out with for drinks!!! I know it comes off as being snooty and meany but i'm extremely selective with people i hang out with here... I prob know millions of people but only a few that i treasure and honor and hold dearly in my heart forever... and Cheryl is one of them, thinking of the things,  that she has done would make me tear, she's really so amazing, i don't even deserve a friend like her but she really is the best.. Not only is she my best friend, she's everyone's bestie!!!  That's how AWESOME she is and she's never even had a bf before and yet she gives everyone such excellent relationship advises... Man, any guy who becomes Cheryl's man is one damn lucky dude... also she has super high standards, but the thing that i love bout her is that, even if she doesn't have a boyfie.. She doesn't really care. She's happy and contented with friends around her.. She's always doing something.., I wanna be just like her!!! I really wouldn't be the person i am today without her, without her praying over me, I wasn't even a believer then till i met her..... Shucks, i'm already tearing up just thinking about her. If she was a guy or if i was a guy, i'd totally be all over her!!! And i trust her with my life... I'll even take a bullet for her.

Just some pics going back memory lane.... Omg!!!!!!

I used to be a little chubbier back then..

and also the first time, meeting Cheryl's cuzzie years ago.

2 years ago... USS with her brother!

The best of friends irreplaceable in my life, and we're in different parts of the world now....  I really miss the good old days, our lives were like living out a sitcom with episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, the Asian kind and Cheryl brought out the American Canadian flavor to it... <3

Why, I'm feeling sappy, that's why... and the songs been on my head that reminded me of L.

Really, this post is a tribute to her, my friend... Cheryl who's been there for me at my lowest in Perth and someone i could totally bare my heart to and a friend who knows me well inside out...

#ImissLifeInPerth!

I'm so in LOVE with this song and the sounds from the beach that sounds just like happiness. and i also love love love  Kina G!!! 

Fair Warning, It's highly addictive...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3SS5Oqo5_s

"Happy"

I've been lazy to write.  Facebook makes me sad sometimes, makes me miss some of my mates and ex housemates, I've lived with in Perth. It's interesting to know that my friend Tim Tan who used to be interested in me is finally attached!!! I'm so excited for him and it's still funny when i think of the time, he expressed interest, i was like freaking out and used to feel so awkward whenever i see him around, i couldn't wait to run from all that small talk... Hahaha I know, it's so mean, I'm just socially awkward sometimes..

Also talking to a male friend at lunch a week ago, whom i had not met for years and he's been wondering what I've been up to and of my current relationship status, he was saying that, i'm already like 30, should i not be considering a serious relationship.. now?  It's not a matter of considering, i just don't wanna get hurt and if i'm not in one, it's so much easier than dealing with the heartbreaks that comes being in one...

"When you are in your 20's you enjoy and make all the mistakes that you need to make, and your 30's are to learn the lessons. Your 40's are to pay for the drinks." My 20's are officially over and I'll be reaching 30, and still none the wiser, in reflecting the past few days, I've noted a number of lessons, I've learned. I lost one of my best friends, and through that was reminded of how much I value relationships with people that I was letting drift away and i still make mistakes in being with the wrong guys. I've also changed career paths (after completing years of education for my intended career)

I'm  so tired of people saying to me, i understand with kind intentions that the right one will come, and not rush. I'm not rushing. I'm happy being single, and free. My mom just keeps pressing me, It's not that, i don't believe in love, or romance but that's like sometimes putting down some unrealistic expectations for oneself. For example, I don't believe in a man buying the most expensive ring to show his love or worth, i believe the proposal in itself would show how he esteems his partner to be and def not the worth of the ring.. and also even if he buys a $2 dollar ring, i'm just saying, does it really matter? It's the life that's being spend together that's priceless right...??

I wanna go on an Hot Air Balloon so bad and a trip to TAIPEI, try some authentic Taiwanese  bubble tea and Taiwanese food... I think, i'll celebrate my 30th birthday' in Taiwan or somewhere remote. I have 6 months to think bout it, time just goes by so quickly and before you know it, it'll be 2015!

Hopefully my 30's will be just as  awesome filled with glorious fun times and meeting people and learning about people...

<3