This blog has moved to http://melbelle-15.livejournal.com
Hope to see you there!

It has been a while, i would have liked to write often but just doesn’t have the same touch to it as it was, funny thing, how relationships are akin to that too. People change and feelings fade. One moment, i was all over, a particular someone and the next, i have almost become numb to those emotions or attraction that was developed. Gone are the days of good old fashioned romance. When it was about when boy meets girls, and falls for her and pursues her. Words of affection now sounds painlessly cheap without any truth or meaning and there’s also all these cheap thrilling mind games now, if he likes her or not! I’ve almost forgotten what “real” intimacy feels like? It’s now, casually regarded in disregard for the sake of self pleasure. I’m exhausted of all this selfish, heart wrenching, time wasting process.

My best friend is leaving tomorrow, after a whirlwind of adventures, back to Perth again. I hate airports now, i swear that place has only left me with much sadness than happiness.

If i could just be prudent with the way i spend my money for the next 6 months, i should be able to save up enough for visa and accommodation and other stuffs. Apparently, only in NZ, would i be able to attain a visa to work and live in there, if i wanted to, seems like a good place to live in, everyone would speak in English and the weather would be lovely and career wise, the money earned would be way better in Sing and to be honest, i feel like i’m stuck in a rut here, i don’t like it here at all and i really miss having a place of my own with or without housemates to share with. I miss living on my own. Needing my own space.

Singapore is awesome for all these touristy stuffs and also good delicious mouth watering food but living wise, it sucks! I want a job, i could genuinely be happy doing it for life, not just for the time being and i’m so sick of my life atm, plus my qualifications from Australia are recognized round NZ which make more sense to move, and esp more with that work visa thing, that grants Singaporeans an opportunity to move.

I’m thinking Auckland, or Christchurch. I’m impulsive and whimsical by nature. I went to Perth and lived there for 5 years, don’t regret the experiences one bit and i’ll not swoop anything in the world for it.

If only money dropped from heaven….. I could pack my bags and leave right away!! :/

I’ve been feeling a little perplexed and withdrawn, i don’t feel like talking about it. John was here not too long ago and got to meet up with him over dinner after work. Soooo good to see him again, and hear his side of his story and driving experiences in Europe and how he got lost getting some brownies for his sister in Amsterdam and his relationship with this new Taiwanese girl.. He’s seeing an Asian girl, which still feels a little weird from all his international dating experiences. Hahaha

No one has seen me shed a tear and I’m not one to cry around people, but.. John’s seen me weep, and tears just flowed. I miss all these heart to heart conversations.

Why are we haunted with a sense of loss?
We do not wish the pain back, or the heat
And yet, and yet, these days are incomplete.

I know, i’ll be okay. Just a little overwhelmed atm.